when i grow up, i want to be an astronaut

I have been fascinated with stars and space for years. Take me out in the middle of nowhere and I will be content to watch the skies for hours. Clouds, storms, clear nights, clear mornings, rain, lightning, moonless nights, harvest moons, full moons. Everything. It holds my awe every day.

In another life I would love to be an astronaut. Just the thought of being out in space takes my breath away—where there is no air and no sound, and there are more stars in the sky than you can even imagine. Behind you is the earth and you can see the side of clouds and storms and land that you rarely get it see, on a scale that you never get to witness, and every film you’ve ever watched about anything at all would be diminished to nothingness because your reality would be so overwhelmingly unbelievable.

How crazy is it that space is unfathomably large, and that it is always expanding? What is it expanding into? And how is it doing it at the speed of light? What is this nothingness that is becoming a space that is so huge that the stars we see might not even be alive any more? Stars that have died years and years and years ago are still smiling at us.

“How crazy is it that some of the stars we see aren’t even there any more? It’s just that their light is still hitting us. It’s like their souls are still with us.” -Ruben.

It’s like how love continues even after someone is gone. Because let’s face it, love—true love—is unconditional. It is not dependent on the actions or presence of someone. It is not an emotion. It is a choice and a lifestyle. It is an impact on your soul—an impact that will radically change you and will never leave you.

When I look at the sky, all I see in all of the beauty and the majesty, is how Great my God is. I think of how infinitely large the world is, how much larger the universe is, and how much greater my God is than that. And then there’s me, watching the clouds billow in the summer sky as I float in an above ground pool in a backyard. So seemingly small and insignificant in relation to everything else. And yet, among all of His creations, God also thought the world needed one of me too. He knit me together, knows the number of every curly hair on my head, and understands every thought and emotion that cascades through my body. He is privy to the hurricane inside of me while everyone else sees the calm in the storm. He loved me before I was born, and He knew everything I would ever do before I ever had the inclination to do it.

He knows the things that have broken me. He knows the things that have strengthened me. He has put words, and people, and books, and music, and art in my life to build me. He knows that I ache for the unconditional love that no one on earth is able to provide. And while I float on my back in the pool that man built, and look up at the skies that are stained with the colors of sunset, I see again and again the promise of forever in the presence of the God who can create such majesty.

“Live from the abundant place that you are loved.” -Lysa TerKeurst

Don’t be overwhelmed by the vastness of the universe, by the size of your life, or by your shortcomings in the face of everything. You have purpose, and that unconditional love that you are craving isn’t as impossible to find as you might think it is.

Live loved.

Until next time,

Jamie

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astrophotography // live loved

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