friends, meet fiancé; fiancé, meet friends

My friends, it has been a long time since we have spoken. Not necessarily for any one reason, but more because we all know that you can do anything, but you can’t do everything.

So here I am, having found a few moments to myself where I am not growing my photography business (Facebook page here, or Instagram here), or working a full time admin job, or playing on the worship team at my church, or doing life with my incredible fiancé, or planning my wedding.

Friends, more than anything I want to introduce you to Will.
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He is patient, and kind, and good. And is is much more than I could have ever dreamed for myself.

We met because of church, and music, and friends. More specifically we met on a day that was supposed to be devoted to photography. He has always spoken confidence and worth into my heart, and I am blessed beyond words to marry him soon.

We plan on many life adventures, calling many places home, and on puppies and babies and photographing all the things.

I hope to give you more updates in the future, but for now, here are some #cutecouple photos to tide you over.
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//Hiking Angel’s Landing in Utah//

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//Driving the Blue Ridge Parkway with our National Parks Passports//

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//Celebrating his birthday with family and friends in the mountains//

So much love to all of you,

Jamie

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you shouldn’t live in anticipation

“How rare and beautiful it is to even exist.”

I am a creature of anticipation. I love looking forward to things. Growing up, I had a white board that was almost entirely used for counting down to different events like Christmas and birthdays and vacations. I would sit in impatient anticipation and ride the emotional high of waiting for this future event that I expected to be SO exciting.

I sometimes forget to enjoy today and appreciate it instead of just wanting tomorrow to get here already.

In my now, I’m in a really good relationship that is possibly going places. I have to remind myself that being in the honeymoon phase–where we haven’t even had a fight or we don’t know very many of each other’s flaws–is not something I should rush through.

Don’t wish away today by waiting for tomorrow. You are always in the now and if you’re always living for tomorrow, you will never experience your now.

Ask these questions for me. What is happening now that is good and irreplaceable? What about today will never happen again?

How many times have you arrived at an event you have been anticipating (like the release of a new Star Wars movie–am I right?!) and said, “I can’t believe this day is finally here!”? Maybe the fact that July is TOMORROW is insane to you–wasn’t it just January? Where did the beginning of 2017 go and how can it possibly be summer already?

Life is a process and the “end” result should not be your whole game plan. What about all of those hundreds of days in between? We blaze through them because they’re just our everyday life. They aren’t as important as what we’re anticipating. We just have to make it through the work week–can I get an amen? Until we want to look back through our rose-colored nostalgia glasses and wish we could go back in time.

Whether you are waiting on a move, vacation, marriage, kids, or any number of life changing events, pause. Right now. Today. In this moment where you are living and breathing. What is happening right now that will never happen again? What about this season of life will you never get to experience again? What about today is good?

Celebrate your now.
Don’t rush through your life.
“How rare and beautiful it is to even exist.”

Until next time,

Jamie

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thanksgiving in arkansas

Unwanted. Unloveable.

The other day my coworker said something that really hit me.
She named my emotions, and I immediately felt like crying.  It made what I was feeling understandable, relatable, and easier to conquer.  Names are powerful.

Unwanted.
Unloveable.

Both are, of course, wildly untrue.
But does that stop us from feeling that way?  Of course not.

Ladies, I have had men choose their careers instead of me, or choose women who are extremely similar to me, or just flat not choose me.  I have been cheated on, lied to, led on, and all around treated like no person should be treated.  And it always sucks, to feel Not Chosen.

I wish we could shake men awake and tell them to be honest, with us and with themselves.  But you can’t make someone have a good heart.  You can’t make someone want to be in your life.  You can’t make someone love you. Even if you choose the Right Guy who is good and loving and caring and compassionate and Everything, it still doesn’t mean that he will choose you.  And that’s okay–he doesn’t have to, even if we want him to.  But it still sucks.

Waking up alone.  Grocery shopping alone.  Paying bills alone.  Dealing with sudden emergencies alone.  Living alone.  Spending your evenings alone.  Driving alone.

People invite you places.  You invite other people places.  Your family includes you in things.

But you still go home alone.  And in your darkest moments the men who didn’t choose you are like bright red tally marks in your mind.

“Rejection steals the best of who I am by reinforcing the worst of what’s been said to me.” -Lysa TerKeurst

So what do we do?  When these dark moments and rejection and unreasonable feelings of being Unwanted and Unloveable take over?

Don’t let your list of rejections make you accept the love you are offered if it isn’t the love you deserve.  Been there, done that.

Instead, take the time and put the effort into falling in love with yourself.  Just like you would with any relationship, invest in yourself.  Take your own hot self on a date!  Get yourself in that headspace that says you are worth it.  That you are valuable.  That you are lovable.  That the people who didn’t choose you are missing out.  Stop thinking, “Why am I not enough?” and start thinking, “It’s too bad they aren’t smart enough to choose me.”

“Be strong.  Be brave.  Be fearless.  You are never alone.” -Joshua 1:9

If you can love the wrong people so much, imagine what loving and being loved by the right person will be like.  Love yourself enough to recognize your value.  Other people’s opinions don’t really matter.  God’s got you.

 

Until next time,

Jamie

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