you shouldn’t live in anticipation

“How rare and beautiful it is to even exist.”

I am a creature of anticipation. I love looking forward to things. Growing up, I had a white board that was almost entirely used for counting down to different events like Christmas and birthdays and vacations. I would sit in impatient anticipation and ride the emotional high of waiting for this future event that I expected to be SO exciting.

I sometimes forget to enjoy today and appreciate it instead of just wanting tomorrow to get here already.

In my now, I’m in a really good relationship that is possibly going places. I have to remind myself that being in the honeymoon phase–where we haven’t even had a fight or we don’t know very many of each other’s flaws–is not something I should rush through.

Don’t wish away today by waiting for tomorrow. You are always in the now and if you’re always living for tomorrow, you will never experience your now.

Ask these questions for me. What is happening now that is good and irreplaceable? What about today will never happen again?

How many times have you arrived at an event you have been anticipating (like the release of a new Star Wars movie–am I right?!) and said, “I can’t believe this day is finally here!”? Maybe the fact that July is TOMORROW is insane to you–wasn’t it just January? Where did the beginning of 2017 go and how can it possibly be summer already?

Life is a process and the “end” result should not be your whole game plan. What about all of those hundreds of days in between? We blaze through them because they’re just our everyday life. They aren’t as important as what we’re anticipating. We just have to make it through the work week–can I get an amen? Until we want to look back through our rose-colored nostalgia glasses and wish we could go back in time.

Whether you are waiting on a move, vacation, marriage, kids, or any number of life changing events, pause. Right now. Today. In this moment where you are living and breathing. What is happening right now that will never happen again? What about this season of life will you never get to experience again? What about today is good?

Celebrate your now.
Don’t rush through your life.
“How rare and beautiful it is to even exist.”

Until next time,


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be a light for others

I tried to write this as a tweet today but I had way too many words and way too few characters.

If today you lose your hope and you feel all alone, don’t isolate yourself.  Talk to someone.  Whether it is a friend, a leader, or a professional–anyone.  You’d be surprised how many people have been through the same things.  Even in your darkest place, having someone who will hear you, listen, and love is irreplaceable.  Embrace what you are going through and allow it to mold you.  Even on the worst days, when you want to run from your pain, there is purpose, and you will feel it eventually.

I will never stop preaching that everything happens for a reason.  It becomes more evident and more true for me every single day.  In my worst moments, I don’t feel good for anyone, and that’s okay.  I probably shouldn’t help people when my cup is empty and when my brokenness is all-consuming.

But friends, one day you will meet someone, or someone from your past will reach out to you, or a friend will say “my friend is going through such-and-such and I know that you did too, can you talk to them?”  It will just happen.  I say this so often–if you make yourself vulnerable, you might change someone’s life.  By putting yourself and your story out there, you have opened the door and given people permission to talk to you.  And I promise you that there is so much purpose in your journey and in your story, because helping just one person walk a similar path is worth it.

Our world is broken.  People are people and they make mistakes or they do terrible things.  Sometimes we’re the ones who have made those very mistakes or done those terrible things that have torn our own lives down.  Sometimes it’s someone who has done them to us.  And sometimes it’s illness, or death, or financial problems.  The list goes on.  Life is hard–for everyone.

If you are in the middle of your storm, talk to people.  If you know someone who has been through something similar, don’t be afraid to reach out to them.  It is okay to let people see you struggle.  We are not meant to do life alone.  Let other people help you carry your burden.

If you have weathered your storm, and if your story could help change people’s lives, what keeps you from sharing it?  No one is perfect, but none of us like to publicly admit that.  Whether it’s your mistake or someone else’s, we don’t like to admit to the flaws in our lives.  What would happen if you put your pride on the shelf and shared some of the struggles of your life?

Personally, I don’t like sharing what I have been through.  It gives me anxiety, it makes me relive past hurts, and sometimes I cry in front of people, which is one of my least favorite things to do.  It hurts my pride to say I’m divorced.  All of a sudden people look at me differently and judge whether or not I’m good enough.  It hurts my pride to tell people I have anxiety.  It’s a weird mental thing that people don’t really understand and I don’t want them to think I’m weak.

It is never easy for me to be vulnerable, or to share my story, because it is full of things I am not proud of.  But you know what makes that kind of beautiful?  That I have the courage to do it anyways.  I understand that I am NOT alone, but I also understand the devastating, isolating feeling of walking through a road of brokenness.  This is your journey, and your bad season, and your pain.  Even in a room full of people you can feel all alone.  If that is you, please understand that this season will pass.  The only promise in this life is that things will change.  Now is not forever.  Now will always change.

If you can’t see the end of the tunnel, reach out to someone to talk to.  And if you’ve already been through your tunnel, shine a light behind you to help someone else find their way out.  The feeling of freedom that comes at the end is breathtaking and we shouldn’t keep that to ourselves.

Until next time,



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my iPhone life || march 2015

My iPhone life posts are about giving you guys a different perspective on my life. I share some quotes and things I may have said on Instagram or Twitter, but mostly it’s a sort of behind the scenes and more casual sort of lifestyle post.


I started to come up for air a little bit in March. I had found my creativity again and was able to start embracing the idea of new friends and a new, full life. The family and I became obsessed with the shows “Agent Carter” and “Friends,” I learned that the phrase “that girl is wide open” is a real phrase in the south (and isn’t meant to be dirty), and I started to get really comfortable at my job. One of the agents at the office brought me these flowers. What even the heck.


I want to take good photos, drink coffee, and travel.

I think that everything happens for a reason and everything that happens is preparing you for a moment that has yet to come. I think that the hard things we go through make us stronger and better, but maybe we don’t need to be stronger and better for ourselves.  Maybe we need to be stronger and better for other people. Maybe the reason we go through this hard thing or that hard thing is so that later on, when we know someone who is going through something similar, we can lend them the strength and the knowledge that we found and we can be someone that they need. Look at where you were one year ago today and think about how much has changed. How much more can God do this coming year in your life? How many people has He used to make you a better person?


We had some decent weather in March. Here I am attempting to have less transparent skin while also avoiding skin cancer. Good luck, epidermis.


Cocobutt is the best butt. She gets very distraught when Jon goes outside without her. He is her person, and he needs her help. Obviously. But she is no bueno on a leash and is a very poor listener, therefore she stays inside or in the backyard when Jon is out front. She is very concerned for his wellbeing in this photo.


“Have courage and be kind.” We saw Cinderella–the new live action film. It is super adorable and extremely cheesey and romantic… and wildly unrealistic. I loved it.


While adventuring and movie-going on a rainy Saturday, we found this amazing coffee shop near our house. It is full of burlap and repurposed furniture and exposed air ducts. There are also plenty of chalk boards and other trendy items that made us fall in love immediately. They even display local art. The only thing missing is an old piano. Get on that, guys.

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I adore this shirt. Go buy one now. It is at Old Navy and is the boyfriend style. You’re welcome.


This bruise is literally still on my leg. My sister was trying to hand me a large can of beans… or tomato sauce–I’m not sure which. Well she missed and I missed and in an attempt to either save my foot or catch the can, I slowed its descent with my thigh and received this gem as a reward. Luckily it doesn’t hurt any more, but it’s still chillin there.


This was a random from my roommate from first year of university and one of my best friends from high school. This girl still knows how to cheer me up. Here’s to swing dance, banana phone, and one of the best years of my life–love you, Mikaela.


7448717958_dbf40e806f_oI like that we don’t stay young. We get to grow up and earn to love the things we used to hate. We get to find our confidence and find a strength in life we always wished we had. I used to be jealous of people who were outspoken and confident. Now I’m confident but okay with quietness. Comfortable but alright with the occasional awkward moments. Grow into the person you are and eventually you’ll love that person instead of what you wanted to be.

Until next time,