Unwanted. Unloveable.

The other day my coworker said something that really hit me.
She named my emotions, and I immediately felt like crying.  It made what I was feeling understandable, relatable, and easier to conquer.  Names are powerful.

Unwanted.
Unloveable.

Both are, of course, wildly untrue.
But does that stop us from feeling that way?  Of course not.

Ladies, I have had men choose their careers instead of me, or choose women who are extremely similar to me, or just flat not choose me.  I have been cheated on, lied to, led on, and all around treated like no person should be treated.  And it always sucks, to feel Not Chosen.

I wish we could shake men awake and tell them to be honest, with us and with themselves.  But you can’t make someone have a good heart.  You can’t make someone want to be in your life.  You can’t make someone love you. Even if you choose the Right Guy who is good and loving and caring and compassionate and Everything, it still doesn’t mean that he will choose you.  And that’s okay–he doesn’t have to, even if we want him to.  But it still sucks.

Waking up alone.  Grocery shopping alone.  Paying bills alone.  Dealing with sudden emergencies alone.  Living alone.  Spending your evenings alone.  Driving alone.

People invite you places.  You invite other people places.  Your family includes you in things.

But you still go home alone.  And in your darkest moments the men who didn’t choose you are like bright red tally marks in your mind.

“Rejection steals the best of who I am by reinforcing the worst of what’s been said to me.” -Lysa TerKeurst

So what do we do?  When these dark moments and rejection and unreasonable feelings of being Unwanted and Unloveable take over?

Don’t let your list of rejections make you accept the love you are offered if it isn’t the love you deserve.  Been there, done that.

Instead, take the time and put the effort into falling in love with yourself.  Just like you would with any relationship, invest in yourself.  Take your own hot self on a date!  Get yourself in that headspace that says you are worth it.  That you are valuable.  That you are lovable.  That the people who didn’t choose you are missing out.  Stop thinking, “Why am I not enough?” and start thinking, “It’s too bad they aren’t smart enough to choose me.”

“Be strong.  Be brave.  Be fearless.  You are never alone.” -Joshua 1:9

If you can love the wrong people so much, imagine what loving and being loved by the right person will be like.  Love yourself enough to recognize your value.  Other people’s opinions don’t really matter.  God’s got you.

 

Until next time,
❤
Jamie

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my iPhone life || february 2015

“I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.” -Audrey Hepburn

February was the month of winter storms for us. We had ice storms and snow storms and I had to stay home from work for two (separate) days. At the start of the month was the Superbowl. I was rooting for the Patriots and Kasey picked the Seahawks.

One of the things I love about my job. Haha, jokes. But seriously, I get a little spoiled sometimes.

Sometimes I suck up the allergies because Polly is just super precious.

In February I got my bed! I had been drooling over that thing for months. I am still in love with it in all of it’s super girlie glory.

Kasey and I were going on a few walks a week to get exercise. It was hard to keep up and eventually we stopped because it was dark when I got home from work. Now I just dance around in the bonus room or do yoga. Maybe I’ll write a post about my recent fitness journey later when I’m feeling more brave. Right now as it stands in May I’m pretty proud of myself.

Valentines Day. I kind of love this holiday. I’m a self-proclaimed gushing romantic.
Sorry, boys.
I like flowers and candle lit dinners. I like the effort that it shows and it makes me all teary. This year I didn’t know how I would feel about the day. I’ve never been the “I-hate-being-single” woman or the “singles awareness day, Valentines Day sucks” type. I think that singleness and relationships have pro’s and con’s and I like that couples get to be all cute and romantic. Who am I to be bitter? It’s a waste of my time to hold resentment or jealousy.
Despite that the day was harder than I expected. My coworkers, and most especially my brother-in-law were awesome. I’m so grateful for everyone here in North Carolina, it’s nuts.

Polly and Coco love snow days.

This is February-Jamie thinking that the humidity is making her hair crazy. That’s cute, sweetie, but just wait until a couple months later. You will wish February back again.

I’m really really really into the Oscars. I am taking a hiatus from my other blog currently, but I watch Oscar nominated films and then review them here. This is the third year in a row I have printed Oscar ballots and provided prizes for the person who predicts the most wins. February is just an all around great month, friends.

What is this? There are white things in the air!

See the Canadian in his natural element.

This is the face of a dog who wants NOTHING but to go outside together and play in the snow.

Just a family of dorks.

Coco got a little excited and punched me in the face. Again.

Last but not least, I leave you with this gem. If you ever need some cheering up or are particularly bored, I will be glad to send you an ugly picture of myself to brighten your day.

Until next time,
❤
Jamie